Step brothers is one of the most impactful movies of the late 2000s. There are many funny and memorable moments and quotes between two step brothers who stay with their parent after they got married.

Step brothers quotes from the movie are hilarious and funny. These quotes can be used between the slam and bam fight between siblings and close friends. The sense of humor in this movie is explicitly appreciated.

step brothers quotes
source: ifc.com

Step brothers was written by Adam McKay and Will Farrell and released in 2008 with the lead of John C Reily and Will Farrell. The argument and hatred between these two brothers turned into friendship as they spent more time together.

Best Step Brothers Quotes

We all quarrel with our siblings that’s how family works out. You quarrel, you fight, you don’t talk but later you are cool and friends. These are some best step brothers quotes used in the movie by characters Dale and Brennan.

“Listen, gang, don’t be mad at Dale for ruining the story, and possibly, the evening.” – Derek Huff

“Haha, that’s so funny. The last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur!” – Dale Doback

“I used to smoke pot with John Hopkins. It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering, and they would blaze that sh*t every day.” – Brennan Huff

“Don’t lose your dinosaur.” – Robert Doback

“This is going to sound weird but, for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.” – Dale Doback

“I am not the one staring at me.” – Brennan Huff

“When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short, and I roamed the backyard. I chased the neighborhood cats. I growled, and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me. And one day, my dad said, ‘Bobby, you’re 17. It’s time to throw childish things aside,’ and I said, ‘Okay, Pop.’ But he didn’t really say that. He said, ‘Stop being a f*cking dinosaur and get a job.’” – Robert Doback

“I’m f*cking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” – Dale Doback

“Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” – Brennan Huff

“Did we just become best friends?” – Brennan Huff

Step Brothers Quotes On Drum Set

These are step brothers quotes between Dale and Brennna, when Brennan tries to irritate Dale by tampering with his drum set.

Dale Doback: “I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my drum set.” – Dale Doback 

step brothers quotes

“I am warning you, if you touch my drums, I will stab you in the neck with a knife.” – Dale Doback

“Oh yeah. Well, my drum set’s a guy, so that makes you gay!” – Dale Doback 

“No, I was watching cops.” – Brennan Huff

“Did you rub your balls on my drums.” – Dale Doback 

“I teabagged your drum set!” – Brennan Huff

“Look, I didn’t touch your drum set, okay?” – Brennan Huff

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Step Brothers Quotes On Family

When their parents get married in adulthood it will be hard for these brothers to get along. During this phase, they talk about the family which is mentioned in the step brothers quotes below.

“Who’s the ret*rd?” – Brennan Huff

“Dad, what a terrible idea. Why did you let us do that?” – Dale Doback 

“You geriatric f*ck! You better keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother, who is a saint, or else I’ll shove one of your hearing devices up your *ss so you can hear the sound of your own small intestines producing sh*t!” – Brennan Huff

“My mom is being eaten by a dog, and there’s nothing I can do!” – Brennan Huff

“Dad, we’re men, okay? That means a few things. We like to sh*t with the door open. We talk about p*ssy. We go on riverboat gambling trips. We make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do. And now, that is all wrecked.” – Dale Doback

“I’m not gonna call him dad, not even if there’s a fire.” – Brennan Huff

“Dad, I’m doing this because I love you. F*ck you.” – Dale Doback 

Robert Doback: “Anything else?” – Robert Doback 

“No, bon voyage! Have a great time!” – Dale Doback 

“You and your mother are a bunch of hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors. The only reason we’re letting you live here is because me and my dad thought your mom was hot, and we thought we’d keep her around so we can both bang her, and we’ll deal with the ret*rd in the meantime.” – Dale Doback 

“Dad, what are you doing? It’s Shark Week!” – Dale Doback

Step Brothers Quotes About Music

“I’ve been called the songbird of my generation by people who’ve heard me. That good.” – Brennan Huff34. “Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” – Dale Doback

“Flat. It’s so flat. I can’t even. I don’t even know. You don’t even look good while you’re singing. The worst thing I’ve ever heard. This is $1200 a week for voice lessons, and this is what I get? Okay, I’m gonna save it with the solo.” – Derek Huff

Epic Step Brothers Quotes For Laughter

“I know that you are technically married now, but that does not mean that they have to live here.” Dale Doback

“When you fall asleep, I’m gonna punch you square in the face.” – Brennan Huff

“Brennan, I thought you were incredibly brave. And I mean that in strictly the most clinical and professional sense possible, with no emotional, intimate, sexual, or any other undertones that you could possibly infer.” 

“God, you’re gonna make me cry. What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?” – Brennan Huff

“I still hate you, but you have a pretty good collection of nudie magazines.” – Brennan Huff

“Okay, on the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just do it. One, two, three.” – Dale Doback

“Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta f*ck one, marry one, kill one. Go!” – Dale Doback

Step Brothers Quotes For Fighting

“Today, I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon.” – Nancy Huff

step brothers quotes

“I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina.” – Alice

“One time, I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” – Dale Doback

step brothers quotes

“I’m gonna fill a pillowcase full of bars of soap and beat the sh*t out of you!” – Brennan Huff

“Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?” – Dale Doback

Brennan Huff: “It will give us so much extra space in our room to do activities!”

“Robert better not get in my face ’cause I’ll drop that motherf*cker!” – Brennan Huff

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Funny Step Brothers Quotes

Here are some of the step brothers quotes that are hilarious throwing whatever words they get in their minds.

“I feel like a lightning bolt just hit the tip of my penis.” – Brennan Huff

“I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” – Dale Doback

“I pleasured myself this evening to the image of you punching my husband.” – Alice

“You have to call me Nighthawk.” – Brennan Huff

“You know what gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends.” – Derek Huff

“Here’s a scenario for you. Let’s say Nancy catches me getting out of the shower. And she thinks I look good. And she sees my chest pubes all the way down to my ball fro, and she says, ‘I’ve had the old bull. Now, I want the old calf.’ Then she grabs me by the weiner.” – Dale Doback

“I’ll lick the sh*t if you leave us alone.” – Dale Doback

“It’s just like cold case files, it’s just like cold case files.” – Dale Doback

“You’re not a doctor. You’re a big fat curly-headed f*ck.” – Brennan Huff

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!” – Brennan Huff

“Hey Derek, you know what’s always good for shoulder pain? If you lick my butthole.” – Brennan Huff

Short Step Brothers Quotes 

“Last week, I put liquid paper on a bee… and it died.”

“Gotta have my boats and hoes!” – Dale Doback

step brothers quotes

“That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.” – Dale Doback

“Dad, we’re men. That means a few things – we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pu*sy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.” -Dale Doback

“You should have never let us make bunk beds! It was a terrible idea! There’s blood everywhere! Dad, Nancy, it’s so bad. There’s blood everywhere. Those bunk beds were a terrible idea. Why’d you let us do that? It’s so bad!”

“Brennan, Denise called and she said she can’t spend New Year’s Eve with you because she’s not your girlfriend, she’s your therapist.” – Nancy

“Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” – Brennan Huff

“Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?” – Brennan Huff

“I didn’t want Salmon! I said it four times! This wedding is horse sh**.”

“I wanna make bank bro. I wanna drive a range rover. I wanna get a**.”

“Your drumset is a wh***! I tea bagged your drum set!” – Brennan Huff

Step Brothers Quotes One Liners

These step brothers quotes consist of the epic one-liners used in the movie.

“Who’s the retard?”

“What if I want wings?”

“I’ll lick the dog sh** if you leave us alone.”

“That’s cute, I remember when I had my first beer.”

“I was about six there. You don’t wanna see me go to ten.”

“I think I might be able to help with the pan-pam dilemma.”

“I don’t believe in belts. There should be no ranking system for toughness.”

step brothers quotes

“Robert better not get in my face, ’cause I’ll drop that mother f***er.”

“I you wake me up… I will stab you, in the neck with a knife.”

“Dane Cook, pay–per–view, 20 minutes, let’s go!” – Derek

The movie grossed about millions of dollars in its release, with the full dose of waves of laughter provided by veteran actors like Will Farrell and John C Reily. We have listed almost all of the funny lines and punches in this article of step brothers quotes.

(Last Updated On: June 17, 2022)