Step brothers is one of the most impactful movies of the late 2000s. There are many funny and memorable moments and quotes between two step brothers who stay with their parent after they got married.

Step brothers quotes from the movie are hilarious and funny. These quotes can be used between the slam and bam fight between siblings and close friends. The sense of humor in this movie is explicitly appreciated.

step brothers quotes
source: ifc.com

Step brothers was written by Adam McKay and Will Farrell and released in 2008 with the lead of John C Reily and Will Farrell. The argument and hatred between these two brothers turned into friendship as they spent more time together.

Best Step Brothers Quotes

We all quarrel with our siblings that’s how family works out. You quarrel, you fight, you don’t talk but later you are cool and friends. These are some best step brothers quotes used in the movie by characters Dale and Brennan.

1. “Listen, gang, don’t be mad at Dale for ruining the story, and possibly, the evening.” – Derek Huff

2. “Haha, that’s so funny. The last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur!” – Dale Doback

3. “I used to smoke pot with John Hopkins. It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering, and they would blaze that sh*t every day.” – Brennan Huff

4. “Don’t lose your dinosaur.” – Robert Doback

5. “This is going to sound weird but, for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.” – Dale Doback

6. “I am not the one staring at me.” – Brennan Huff

7. “When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short, and I roamed the backyard. I chased the neighborhood cats. I growled, and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me. And one day, my dad said, ‘Bobby, you’re 17. It’s time to throw childish things aside,’ and I said, ‘Okay, Pop.’ But he didn’t really say that. He said, ‘Stop being a f*cking dinosaur and get a job.’” – Robert Doback

8. “I’m f*cking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” – Dale Doback

9. “Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” – Brennan Huff

10. “Did we just become best friends?” – Brennan Huff

Step Brothers Quotes On Drum Set

These are step brothers quotes between Dale and Brennna, when Brennan tries to irritate Dale by tampering with his drum set.

11. “I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my drum set.” – Dale Doback 

step brothers quotes

12. “I am warning you, if you touch my drums, I will stab you in the neck with a knife.” – Dale Doback

13. “Oh yeah. Well, my drum set’s a guy, so that makes you gay!” – Dale Doback 

14. “No, I was watching cops.” – Brennan Huff

15. “Did you rub your balls on my drums.” – Dale Doback 

16. “I teabagged your drum set!” – Brennan Huff

17. “Look, I didn’t touch your drum set, okay?” – Brennan Huff

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Step Brothers Quotes On Family

When their parents get married in adulthood it will be hard for these brothers to get along. During this phase, they talk about the family which is mentioned in the step brothers quotes below.

18. “Who’s the ret*rd?” – Brennan Huff

19. “Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?” – Dale Doback

20. “Dad, what a terrible idea. Why did you let us do that?” – Dale Doback 

21. “You geriatric f*ck! You better keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother, who is a saint, or else I’ll shove one of your hearing devices up your *ss so you can hear the sound of your own small intestines producing sh*t!” – Brennan Huff

22. “My mom is being eaten by a dog, and there’s nothing I can do!” – Brennan Huff

23. “Dad, we’re men, okay? That means a few things. We like to sh*t with the door open. We talk about p*ssy. We go on riverboat gambling trips. We make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do. And now, that is all wrecked.” – Dale Doback

24. “I’m not gonna call him dad, not even if there’s a fire.” – Brennan Huff

25. “Dad, I’m doing this because I love you. F*ck you.” – Dale Doback 

26. “Anything else?” – Robert Doback 

27. “No, bon voyage! Have a great time!” – Dale Doback 

28. “You and your mother are a bunch of hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors. The only reason we’re letting you live here is because me and my dad thought your mom was hot, and we thought we’d keep her around so we can both bang her, and we’ll deal with the ret*rd in the meantime.” – Dale Doback 

29. “Dad, what are you doing? It’s Shark Week!” – Dale Doback

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Step Brothers Quotes About Music

30. “I’ve been called the songbird of my generation by people who’ve heard me. That good.” – Brennan Huff34. “Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” – Dale Doback

31. “Flat. It’s so flat. I can’t even. I don’t even know. You don’t even look good while you’re singing. The worst thing I’ve ever heard. This is $1200 a week for voice lessons, and this is what I get? Okay, I’m gonna save it with the solo.” – Derek Huff

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Epic Quotes From Step Brothers

32. “I know that you are technically married now, but that does not mean that they have to live here.” Dale Doback

33. “When you fall asleep, I’m gonna punch you square in the face.” – Brennan Huff

34. “Brennan, I thought you were incredibly brave. And I mean that in strictly the most clinical and professional sense possible, with no emotional, intimate, sexual, or any other undertones that you could possibly infer.” – Step Brothers

35. “God, you’re gonna make me cry. What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?” – Brennan Huff

36. “I still hate you, but you have a pretty good collection of nudie magazines.” – Brennan Huff

37. “Okay, on the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just do it. One, two, three.” – Dale Doback

38. “Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta f*ck one, marry one, kill one. Go!” – Dale Doback

Quotes About Fighting

39. “Today, I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon.” – Nancy Huff

step brothers quotes

40. “I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina.” – Alice

41. “One time, I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” – Dale Doback

42. “I was about six there. You don’t wanna see me go to ten.” – Step Brothers

step brothers quotes

43. “I’m gonna fill a pillowcase full of bars of soap and beat the sh*t out of you!” – Brennan Huff

44. “It will give us so much extra space in our room to do activities!” – Step Brothers

45. “Robert better not get in my face ’cause I’ll drop that motherf*cker!” – Brennan Huff

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Funny Quotes From Step Brothers

Here are some of the funny step brothers quotes that are hilarious throwing whatever words they get in their minds.

46. “I feel like a lightning bolt just hit the tip of my penis.” – Step Brothers Quotes

47. “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” – Step Brothers Quotes

48. “I pleasured myself this evening to the image of you punching my husband.” – Funny Step Brothers Quotes

49. “You have to call me Nighthawk.” Funny Step Brothers Quotes

50. “You know what gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends.” Funny Step Brothers Quotes

51. “Here’s a scenario for you. Let’s say Nancy catches me getting out of the shower. And she thinks I look good. And she sees my chest pubes all the way down to my ball fro, and she says, ‘I’ve had the old bull. Now, I want the old calf.’ Then she grabs me by the weiner.” Funny Step Brothers Quotes

52. “I’ll lick the sh*t if you leave us alone.” Funny Step Brothers Quotes

53. “It’s just like cold case files, it’s just like cold case files.” Funny Step Brothers Quotes

54. “You’re not a doctor. You’re a big fat curly-headed f*ck.” Funny Step Brothers Quotes

55. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!” Funny Step Brothers

56. “Hey Derek, you know what’s always good for shoulder pain? If you lick my butthole.” Funny Step Brothers Quotes

Short Quotes From Step Brothers

57. “Last week, I put liquid paper on a bee… and it died.” – Step Brothers

58. “Gotta have my boats and hoes!” – Dale Doback

step brothers quotes

59. “That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.” – Dale Doback

60. “Dad, we’re men. That means a few things – we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pu*sy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.” -Dale Doback

61. “You should have never let us make bunk beds! It was a terrible idea! There’s blood everywhere! Dad, Nancy, it’s so bad. There’s blood everywhere. Those bunk beds were a terrible idea. Why’d you let us do that? It’s so bad!” – Step Brothers

62. “Brennan, Denise called and she said she can’t spend New Year’s Eve with you because she’s not your girlfriend, she’s your therapist.” – Nancy

63. “Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” – Brennan Huff

64. “Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?” – Brennan Huff

65. “I didn’t want Salmon! I said it four times! This wedding is horse sh**.” – Step Brothers

66. “I wanna make bank bro. I wanna drive a range rover. I wanna get a**.” – Step Brothers

67. “Your drumset is a wh***! I tea bagged your drum set!” – Brennan Huff

Step Brothers Quotes One-Liners

These step brothers quotes consist of the epic one-liners used in the movie.

68. “Who’s the retard?” – Step Brothers

69. “What if I want wings?” – Step Brothers

70. “I’ll lick the dog sh** if you leave us alone.” – Step Brothers

71. “That’s cute, I remember when I had my first beer.” – Step Brothers

72. “I think I might be able to help with the pan-pam dilemma.” – Step Brothers

73. “I don’t believe in belts. There should be no ranking system for toughness.” – Step Brothers

step brothers quotes

74. “Robert better not get in my face, ’cause I’ll drop that mother f***er.” – Step Brothers

75. “I you wake me up… I will stab you, in the neck with a knife.” – Step Brothers

76. “Dane Cook, pay–per–view, 20 minutes, let’s go!” – Step Brothers

77. “I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina.” – Step Brothers

78. “One time, I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” – Step Brothers

79. “I was about six there. You don’t wanna see me go to ten.” – Step Brothers

80. “Today, I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon.” Step Brothers

The movie grossed about millions of dollars in its release, with the full dose of waves of laughter provided by veteran actors like Will Farrell and John C Reily. We have listed almost all of the funny lines and punches in this article of step brothers quotes.

(Last Updated On: July 20, 2022)